Original article here
When I was depressed and in a bad place in my life, I wanted a quick fix to my issues. Living in a world of immediate gratification, I wanted my problems to go away quickly and simply. I looked to many people to help me with my problems. I found things to distract me until I found someone else to help make me better. After years of getting nowhere, I turned to the one person that I was avoiding to take care of my issues…me.
I had many issues that I had to deal with when I was depressed. One issue was that I did not want to put in any hard work myself. I always took the easy way out. I always looked to someone else to do the hard work for me. I never gave myself a chance to deal with things on my own because it was just easier to have someone else deal with my issues. I wanted them to make me feel better. I wanted someone to just reach inside of me, flip a switch and make things go back to how they use to be.
Finally, I turned to myself to begin the process of figuring out what I needed to figure out. For a long time I thought that this meant that I couldn’t talk to anyone. I thought I had to be by myself in order to do it all on my own. This only made things worse. But, when I shut myself off to the people in my life things just got worse. Figuring things out for yourself doesn’t mean that you have to be alone, it means that you have to find a way to accept that you are the one who can make things different in your life.
I did not want to accept the fact that it was on me to make things different. To me that was such a huge responsibility. I was struggling with confidence issues and fear of failure which made it all so much harder. Understanding that no one could help me but me was not an easy task. It was an uphill battle. It took longer than I like to admit, but I was finally ready to accept that it was on me to figure my issues out.
By accepting that no one could do it but me, I gained a sense of control and stability in my life. Those two things gave me a solid base to start my journey to recovery. It was a huge accomplishment to accept that it was on me. We can’t ask for help with everything in life, but no one accomplishes anything alone. It is a balance between knowing what you need to do for yourself and what others can do for you.
– See more at: http://www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/2014/12/12/learning-to-help-yourself/#sthash.2mbEfGV2.dpuf
So, just like sex and drugs, suicide is something we need to be talking about with our kids. And just like sex and drugs, it’s probably something we should talk about early and often.
I don’t mean to say we need to bombard 5-year-old with the gory details of death by suicide, but emotions, mood and how they affect behavior are totally appropriate topics–even for our youngest kids.
Some tips for talking to your kids about suicide:
Keep it age appropriate.
Most late elementary, middle and high schoolers are mature enough to participate in frank conversations about depression and suicide. “Do you know what depression is?” “Do you know anyone who is really sad or depressed?” “Do you know what suicide is?” “Have you ever thought about killing yourself?” “Who can you turn to for help when you are feeling really sad, or like you want to die? [followed by ideas like teacher, school counselor, trusted neighbor, doctor, etc]. Conversations with younger kids might look something more like,“Do you ever feel sad?” “What do you do to feel better?” “Who can you talk to about your worries?”
Don’t be afraid to say it.
Even when news of a celebrity’s death by suicide isn’t on the news, it is a part of everyday language. Kids are hearing about it at school, on the radio and online. So be brave and ask clear questions like: “Have you ever thought of suicide?” or “What would you do if you had thoughts of suicide?” It does no good to beat around the bush.
Make the conversation part of everyday life.
Conversations about life’s tough topics don’t have to happen in a quiet bedroom in whispered tones. Instead, integrate the conversations into regular life: on the way to school, after soccer practice, on the way to church, while waiting for the movie to start. Take your cues from the world around you to start authentic conversations about things happening around you.
– See more at: http://www.yourmindyourbody.org/talking-to-your-children-about-suicide/#sthash.sORBiGK1.dpuf